May 2013
10 posts
The less we say about it the better
Make it up as we go along
Feet on the ground, head in the sky
It’s okay, I know nothing’s wrong
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Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two →
“And that’s the most frustrating thing about depression. It isn’t always something you can fight back against with hope. It isn’t even something — it’s nothing. And you can’t combat nothing. You can’t fill it up. You can’t cover it. It’s just there, pulling the meaning out of everything.”
So glad to see the brilliant and funny Allie...
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At first it was funny, but I am SERIOUSLY over the ice cream truck in our neighborhood driving around playing Christmas songs.
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I guess, when I really think about it, it’s impressive that I made it this long without having to google something like, “How to not eat your husband’s last leftover birthday cupcake before he gets home from work.”
tweffjeedy:
having long hair is like caring for a small household pet
Accurate.
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I unfortunately inherited my dad’s long, bushy eyebrows and I am always trying to fix it so they don’t curl up all weird. Given my track record with do-it-yourself grooming, I probably should have known to just forget about it when my friend said, “Why don’t you just trim your own eyebrows? I do!”
But instead I trimmed my own eyebrows.
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD CAN I...
April 2013
13 posts
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IT IS REALLY HARD TO EAT HEALTHY WHEN THERE’S A WHOLE BAG OF PEANUT BUTTER FILLED PRETZELS LAYING AROUND HERE.
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I just want a small herd of corgis and rabbits living together in harmony. I don’t think that’s too much to ask, people.
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Then looking upwards I strain my eyes and try To tell the difference between shooting stars and satellites From the passenger seat as you are driving me home. “Do they collide?” I ask and you smile. With my feet on the dash The world doesn’t matter.
I had a really gruesome and horrific dream last night about a gang of extremely violent chimpanzees attacking my neighborhood.
I’m pretty sure this is further proof that I need to get on a more normal sleep schedule. And also maybe that I’m a tad stressed.
So I convinced Ryan to go camping next weekend and I spent a long time making it sound really exciting and fun and being all nonchalant about it and then I waited until he said yes before I casually threw in that we’re taking both dogs.
Win.
Today I was thinking about how hard it is to stay healthy and making excuses for why I’m not where I’d like to be fitness-wise, and I thought to myself, “If only I had a live-in chef to cook healthy meals for me all the time.”
And then I realized I’m married to a chef and he rarely ever cooks at home because he’s working ALL THE TIME and this led to a whole new...
March 2013
22 posts
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Everyone is posting about either their damn beach vacation or their beautiful snow and I would very much like to have either of those right now.
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My simple dog has learned to open doors. This is the beginning of the end, my friends.
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I’m pretty sure the best way to tackle an upcoming deadline for a major project that you’ve put off for several months is to drink a few glasses of wine and put on Outkast and dance around and let the wisdom just flow into your brain. Or something like that.
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First mistake I made today:
“Oh I think I’ll just type in corgi on petfinder for fun.”
Well I guess I can add “getting violently ill at a very fancy, expensive restaurant while out with my husband’s boss and his wife” to my list of humiliating and horrifying things that I didn’t want to happen but happened anyway.
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I just want it to be noted that I live in a house where it is totally normal for an iTunes playlist to go Talking Heads -> The Postal Service -> Jay Z -> Bonnie Raitt -> Ke$ha -> Neil Young. And I am totally okay with this.
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Mom: Did you know you have a hole in your jeans?
Me (looking at the hole on the knee): Yes...
Mom: Are you wearing pink underwear?
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“Out of the people that ever were, almost all of them are dead. There are way...”
– Filed under “Death” from “The Annotated Wisdom of Louis C.K.”
(Louis C.K. interviews here and here)
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February 2013
16 posts
I tried like 6 times to write a positive post and not be so whiny but really all I want to say is that I hate everything about this week. I’ll try for positive thinking again tomorrow.
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Everyone’s talking about Jennifer Lawrence falling (which was actually kind of strangely endearing), but can we talk about how Meryl Streep totally picked a wedgie? Twice! Okay that is all. Goodnight.
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Last night, I awoke to a loud sound and the dog...
Me: Ryan, what was that?!
Ryan: ...
Me: RYAN WHAT WAS THAT?
Ryan: The wood...they put the wood in today.
Me: What?? Ryan what are you talking about? Wake up!
Ryan (very hostile): I AM AWAKE!
Me: Okay, what are you talking about then?
Ryan: The wood. They did the wood today.
Me: Who did??
Ryan: The ones that qualify it...with the metal screws.
Me: What? Ryan I'm asking you about that loud sound. What are you talking about??
Ryan: The soup.
